the knowledge freak-out

I have this thing about knowledge. I like knowledge. I crave knowledge. I want to have knowledge, and I enjoy sharing knowledge, and sometimes it feels really neat to possess a bit of knowledge that other people don’t know. It’s cool when people realize I keep this store of knowledge, that they can ask me questions and I will answer them.

It is interesting to observe me in group dynamics. I look for the person with the most knowledge in the context, and I try to attach myself to them. I may make inside jokes or bring up some shared experience, to show everyone else that I have knowledge, enough knowledge to sit next to the guy who knows the most. It’s not a terribly attractive trait, and I wonder how much others perceive of this.

You see, if I’m not in on knowledge, it makes me a little bit crazy. Read the rest of this entry

high class hair – seriously?

For my entire life, the only thing my hair has ever done with any success is hang straight. Long and straight. Short and straight.  To get waves in my hair for my wedding, I got a super-curly perm, avoided conditioning to keep the strands coarse so they’d hold a style. We moussed it and curled it again with a hot iron, around lunchtime, sprayed it until it was a helmet of honey-brown waves.  The wedding was at 4pm.  By the time we reached the reception at 5:30, my hair was straight. Straight as if I hadn’t spent hours and dollars and dollars and hours on trying to make it something that it never naturally was.

I work with a woman who flat-irons her hair every morning. It has a dry, crispy look to it; it stands out unnaturally from her head as if she were carved from a log. Read the rest of this entry

jesus, the kyrios

I’ve been catching up on the reading for my training in Catechesis of the Good Shepherd.  The Catechesis is rich in theology, and it is a great privilege to study this process that gives the greatest truths to even our youngest children.  In today’s reading, I came across something that surprised and enlightened (and delighted) me.

The priest at my home parish teaches that the first creedal statement of the earliest Christians is this:

Jesus is Lord.

This makes sense. It is nothing new to Christians.  Yes, Jesus is Lord.  Duh. Read the rest of this entry

lighting the pathway

God, in his goodness, has lighted the pathway of humankind so that they need not stray to the right nor to the left, but can go straight toward him.

Dr. Sofia Cavaletti, The History of the Kingdom of God: From Creation to Parousia

impersonating a human

Oil painting It’s a phrase I’ve used a lot lately: impersonating a human.  I’m on the autism spectrum — which is a spectrum that represents a range of abilities and dis-abilities but does not include neurotypical people — and the symptoms seem to be getting more obvious and pronounced.  I know that measurement changes things, that even mere observation can change things, so I may be merely noticing the symptoms more clearly. It’s hard to know.

What I do know is that I struggle with things, especially relationshippy things. Many things that come naturally to most people don’t even occur to me.   Read the rest of this entry


There’s a song that says Life is a highway; I want to ride it all day long. My experience has been that life is a spiral that spins ever inward, or maybe ever outward. Sometimes it moves fast, like an exhilarating highway ride on a sunny spring day with the windows open and my hair blowing in the breeze. Sometimes it creeps along like a slug, a slow slog through muck and mire. Most of the time it’s somewhere in the middle – a walk, a stroll, a bike ride, an amble.

The thing about life’s spiral is that it touches on the same places each time we come around. Here, this is the place where I remember what it’s like to feel God’s face shining on me like the sun. And here, this is the place where I remember I have only a limited amount of time, so I should savor and cherish every moment. And there, that’s the place where I let some 30-second task slide and slide and slide until it takes me 2 hours to catch up and fix everything. And this one, oh, this is the one where I’m reminded that I am not in control, that God is. Some of these places are frustrating; some are sad; some are glorious. Read the rest of this entry

A morning smile

As I drove to work Tuesday morning, an unmarked police car passed me. I had to smile when I passed it again not a minute later, as it waited to turn left into a doughnut shop. It is so cliche and stereotypical that I have to laugh: I don’t think I have ever passed or stopped by this doughnut shop without seeing a police car in the parking lot.

I pray that the Holy Spirit will send you a reason to smile and have joy today!


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