Yesterday I had a stomach bug, so between waking up at 4am and going to bed at 9pm, I drank one 16-ounce bottle of ginger ale… and nothing more. I hoped this wasn’t going to send my bladder into spasm, because I normally drink a full glass of water each hour between breakfast and supper. Alas, it did cause a Painful Bladder Day, so to keep the mood light, I’ve been playing with this list throughout the day.
- You never go anywhere without an extra pad. Or ten.
- A colleague raises an eyebrow when you excuse yourself from a meeting for a bio-break.
- For the third time.
- In an hour.
- You get really good at not doing The Peepee Dance.
- Or you’ve had so much experience that you add artistic flourishes to your Peepee Dance, rendering it unrecognizable as such.
- Your underpants drawer has Nice Panties, Period Panties, and orange Pyridium Panties.
- For that matter, you buy all your towels and sheets in shades of orange.
- You never go more than 10 minutes without drinking some water.
- You keep your urology office’s number on speed dial.
- You can’t remember the last time you had OJ.
- You keep strategic stashes of towels. And wipes. And extra pads.
- You never ever let your pyridium run out. Or your prelief.
- You have expert knowledge on the acidity of foods and beverages.
- Your urologist’s nurses recognize you and call you by name.
- You reflect nostalgically on the days when you could eat Mexican food.
- You throw out all your pantyhose and leggings.
So what have I missed? Let me know in the comments (or on social media)!