statistics is/are beautiful #5

I can’t really lay claim to this one. A student in my Design & Analysis of Experiments class gave this answer tonight. I’ll have to ask my professor who it was, so that appropriate credit can be given.  🙂


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gearing up for the holidays at work

gearing up for the holidays at work

‘Twas two days before Christmas, when all thro’ Web Teks
Not a worker was working, not Tom and not Zack;
vacation requests had been duly considered
in hopes that somebody would do something billable;

the workers were tapping away at their desks,
while daydreams of holidays danced in their heads;
and Sarah in her Ugg boots and John in his sweater,
wishing their employees would do something better;

when in the cafe there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the glass door I flew like a flash,
To see several pans falling down with a crash;

the sun shining brightly this Chesapeake morn–
bet you thought I would rhyme that line with the word ‘pr0n’–
illumined the car of our great boss Dyanne,
its trunk open, showing lots of food and some pans;

And there she stood, Dyanne, her hands on her hips,
“Could you help me?” she asked, and I jumped to assist;
More rapid than eagles she tossed me her tools,
and she named ev’ry one as to my arms it flew:

“Now, Toaster! now, Hot Plate! now, OJ and Cups!
On, Pancake Mix! Butter! on, Bread! Knife that cuts!
To our cafe please take them, and carry them well,
Then send out the guys to give me a spell.”

All laden we carried in food and supplies
equipping Dyanne to cook before our eyes;
so into the cafe went her griddles and meats,
to make us a holiday breakfast replete

with omelettes to order–cheese, ham, peppers, too–
fresh pancakes, hot bacon, and toast made just so.
As I went to my desk and I sat down to write,
Dyanne started to mix a meal sure to delight.

She was dressed in her apron from ECPI,
and her smile was clear on her face and her eyes.
a whisk for the eggs she held loose in her hand,
a spatula near to flip cakes in the pan.

Then she called out our names: “Karim! Charles! and Jeff! too,
come down and get breakfast: I’ve finished your food!”
As co-workers arrived, they joined in on the fun,
and placing their orders, each and every one,

The omelettes were awesome, the pancakes divine,
and the bacon and sausage were  certainly fine;
with syrup, toast, butter we garnished our plates,
then we sat down for breakfast: we ate and we ate!

After all had completed and eaten our fill,
we thanked our kind boss, praising her chef-ing skill.
And we heard her exclaim, as she cleaned up from brunch:
Happy Christmas to all! In two hours, it’s lunch!”

you know you have IC/PBS when…

Yesterday I had a stomach bug, so between waking up at 4am and going to bed at 9pm, I drank one 16-ounce bottle of ginger ale… and nothing more. I hoped this wasn’t going to send my bladder into spasm, because I normally drink a full glass of water each hour between breakfast and supper. Alas, it did cause a Painful Bladder Day, so to keep the mood light, I’ve been playing with this list throughout the day.

  1. You never go anywhere without an extra pad. Or ten.
  2. A colleague raises an eyebrow when you excuse yourself from a meeting for a bio-break.
  3. For the third time.
  4. In an hour.
  5. You get really good at not doing The Peepee Dance.
  6. Or you’ve had so much experience that you add artistic flourishes to your Peepee Dance, rendering it unrecognizable as such.
  7. Your underpants drawer has Nice Panties, Period Panties, and orange Pyridium Panties.
  8. For that matter, you buy all your towels and sheets in shades of orange.
  9. You never go more than 10 minutes without drinking some water.
  10. You keep your urology office’s number on speed dial.
  11. You can’t remember the last time you had OJ.
  12. You keep strategic stashes of towels. And wipes. And extra pads.
  13. You never ever let your pyridium run out. Or your prelief.
  14. You have expert knowledge on the acidity of foods and beverages.
  15. Your urologist’s nurses recognize you and call you by name.
  16. You reflect nostalgically on the days when you could eat Mexican food.
  17. You throw out all your pantyhose and leggings.
  18. ….

So what have I missed?  Let me know in the comments (or on social media)!

“yes, we will be programming”

“yes, we will be programming”

Yesterday was the first day of my graduate studies in mathematics. The class is Numerical Analysis, where we will have four programming assignments over the semester, plus some in-class work. The professor said in the rubric for the first assignment that we can use the language or math tool of our choice, and named C, C++, Java, Matlab, Mathematica, and one other.

Ada, Countess of Lovelace, 1840

Our first assignment has four problems. I soooooooo want to write them in Fortran, Lisp, Ada, and COBOL.

Lisp would be perfect for this class, since it, like numerical analysis, is all about iteration and recursion.

But then I’d have to use emacs.

And I may be a math nerd, but I’m not THAT crazy!

me: This morning, the [name of online form redacted] transitioned to [the client’s ownership]. It was the first big project I worked on here, so I’m a little sad to see it go.

her: I don’t know what it means that I thought that was a perfect excuse for cake.


me: ANY excuse is a perfect excuse for cake.


Also, it looks like my blog is giving me the finger.

Happy Monday!

even my interruptions have interruptions!

Thank you for messaging me on Slack.

Your interruption is important to me. Please continue to wait.

Your interruption will be answered in the order in which it was received.

_cue cheesy hold music_



Dear Slack,

We totally need cheesy hold music. Or maybe a slash command that sends a link to a rickroll for the person who sent the message, while they continue to wait for me to respond to interruptions in the order in which they were received.

Love and kisses,