Yesterday was the first day of my graduate studies in mathematics. The class is Numerical Analysis, where we will have four programming assignments over the semester, plus some in-class work. The professor said in the rubric for the first assignment that we can use the language or math tool of our choice, and named C, C++, Java, Matlab, Mathematica, and one other.
Our first assignment has four problems. I soooooooo want to write them in Fortran, Lisp, Ada, and COBOL.
Lisp would be perfect for this class, since it, like numerical analysis, is all about iteration and recursion.
This particular weekend is a challenging one in terms of the church search. Summer Sundays aren’t the best reflection of most parishes here in Virginia, and adding holiday weekend on top of that doesn’t help. And the cherry on top? It was pouring rain this morning. We figured that wherever we ended up, we’d be about 10% of the congregation.
TIL that I have a substantial amount of shame all knotted up with my disability.
A disclaimer, before I tell the story: this came about because of a disappointment. Because I know that a couple of my colleagues follow me on social media and read this blog, I want to make my purpose for writing this post very clear. This realization came about because of a disappointment. It’s a disappointment that was not intended in the slightest, a disappointment that I had the ability to turn around, a disappointment that I don’t blame on anybody because it’s just a thing that happened. What I want to explore here is not the sequence of events, but my own internal response to them, the affect that I have felt and some of the sources of that pain. But to get to that, I kind of have to tell the story.
Last week, I was asked to help write a proposal. So I poured time and energy into it, and I had a lot of fun working on it, and I thought it was a kickass document. The sales team thought it was pretty kickass, too, because they not only said so publicly a few times (yay!), but they invited me to the presentation with the client. I was so touched by this gesture. I hadn’t been invited to anything like this here before. How exciting–and flattering–that they wanted to include me!
Here’s where the disability piece comes in. I have vertigo. I have vertigo every day, severe enough that it causes me to fall, severe enough that I am on the edge of vomiting at least once a day, severe enough that I can count the number of times I’ve driven in the last three months on one hand. Continue reading “disability and shame”→
This past weekend, I came across a quotation about migraine. A World Health Organization study had said that a person experiencing severe migraine is as disabled as a person experiencing dementia, active psychosis, or quadriplegia. I read it out loud and said, “Well, clearly mine have only been moderate.”
Then I realized that I’ve driven myself to work three or four times over the last three or four months. That’s pretty disabling.
I beg your pardon for skipping Week 3 in our search for our next church home. Having spent last Saturday at PrideFest Norfolk, and then had the start of a migraine attack Sunday morning, we opted for All Saints Pasadena, who stream the Eucharist each Sunday. Their adult forum had been planned–weeks ago–to address gun violence as a public health problem; after the shooting in Orlando, it touched even more deeply. And the sermon preached by the Rev. Susan Russell… well, put simply: WOW. That’s a link to the video, and I urge you to go watch it. It’s okay: I’ll be ready for you when you get back.
This morning, we worshipped at St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, in Norfolk. St. Andrew’s is near Old Dominion University, in Norfolk’s trendy (and wealthy) Ghent neighborhood. The building is surrounded by beautiful gardens, feeling like one more (lovely!) house in the neighborhood. They have provided very comprehensive signage, both outside the building and inside–a crucially important detail for welcoming visitors–and I love that there are restrooms just outside the worship space. Continue reading “mystery worshipper report – week 4”→
I am a Pride Virgin. That is, I have never participated in any Pride celebration before… until tonight. Tonight was the annual Interfaith Celebration, part of the PrideFest in Norfolk. Two years ago, we watched a livestream of the celebration. Last year, my partner participated but I stayed at home (I’m not sure why: there’s a 98% probability that I was either working late or sick… or both!). And this year we both went together.